I am a 39 year old woman, wife, and mother of three. My passion for uplifting women was developed from a line of life experience, which left me very short of feeling as if I was enough.
I spent over ten years with the father of my daughters and I never claimed to be perfect. In fact, I was pretty damn controlling, always having to be the person in charge and eventually, I realized we had become the couple who was just going through the motions of our everyday life. It was then he developed “grass is greener syndrome,” and I experienced the first massive feeling of inadequacy. I left the situation, and erroneously jumped head first into my next relationship.
At that time, I was a vulnerable mess, I did not love myself! Diving head first into an abusive relationship, which clearly did not begin in such a way, I gave excuses for behavior, and continued moving forward, until it spiraled out of control. Once the abuse turned physical, I knew I needed to get out. When the relationship finally ended, I spent over a year fixing myself mentally from the damage I had sustained.
My love for fitness began in July 2013, when I looked in the mirror one day and did not recognize the woman staring back. I was standing in the new home I fought to purchase for myself, and began to cry, as I did not recognize her. In my recovery from the abusive relationship, I used a cocktail of antidepressants, sleep, and anti-anxiety medications and would wake up with pop-tarts, donuts, and other food lying on my chest, having gained 65lbs in five short months. I was the driver of the hot mess express, and I knew changes needed to be made. This is when I took my life back and I made an extremely important decision in that moment in from of the mirror: Its was time. It was time to be done feeling like a victim, time to end the feeling of defectiveness, time to show my daughters what it looked like to fight for myself.
With that same breath I ceased taking the medications and began training in my living room with an at home fitness program. I quickly conquered my fear of the gym and eventually set foot in one. Man was I embarrassed! I started in a dark aerobics room alone and gradually I felt stronger and more confident in my own skin. Every single goal I have accomplished is a huge victory to me, regardless of how small it may appear to others. There were a lot of small goals I set, but ladies those little goals add up to the big ones!
Fitness and encouraging other women has become my passion and in it I truly believe I have found my purpose. I want to aid women in knowing their own worth and if I help only one woman understand, then all the pain will be worth it! It took me along time to understand what loving myself truly meant, and everyday I learn more about myself through this journey. I am honored to be a part of Sorella’s journey and I know we are truly are capable of anything.
Onward and upward ladies.